One of the problems I often have when I decide to turn over a new leaf is that I want it all perfect as soon as I’ve thought of it. It’s a bit like going to confession and leaving determined to start again and be the new, perfect version of me – I almost always do something more wrong or irritating than usual within seconds. I want it all to come too easily, magically think the better self into existence and not put in any of the work.
Thinking about looking for a spiritual renewal, or finding if there is a new and more mature spiritual self lurking within me, is not the easy task I’d like it to be. The fact that it involves reflection and is a lifetime endeavor lacking immediate, tangible results makes it something I could drop easily – it’s just too hard. Today’s Psalm and Gospel put that into context though. In Luke’s well-known Gospel, Jesus says, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?” We’re not promised an easy ride, and really, that’s not what life’s about – it’s how we choose to live in good and bad times. The Psalm’s refrain of “Blessed are they who hope in the Lord” reminds us that we’re not alone in this journey though, however it may sometimes feel. God is there, beckoning, holding, talking, listening, helping – as I begin this Lenten journey in a tired and unsure place, I ask God just to help me remember this, and that very few good things in life come without any work.
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