Weakness

Brothers and sisters: The Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. And the one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because he intercedes for the holy ones according to God's will.

The second half of this reading from the letter of Paul to the Romans is perhaps the more often quoted, as it contains one of the references that people use when discussing the concept of justification by faith alone. But it is this first part that speaks loudly to me today. I’ve been having one of those times we all go through where everything seems too much – work is too busy; I haven’t being feeling great, and there’s no time for a break; and I certainly haven’t been taking care of my family as well as I want to. It’s the perfect emotional storm for a meltdown and melting down I have done, more often than not in the past month or so. And I definitely haven’t known how to ask God for help – I honestly can’t even figure out what help it is I might need, other than another pair or two of hands and perhaps another 24 hours per day.

But I did know how to reach out to my friends, near and far. I got to that point of exhaustion where you lose your defenses and just can’t help but be yourself, exactly as you are in that moment, no ‘public’ face. And in that space, I feel I’ve been met right where I am by those who care about me, and it has helped immeasurably. Just an encouraging word here or there, a reminder that I am valuable even when it feels everything I am doing is wrong, a hug – it reminded me that of course people aren’t actually against me, it’s just easy to experience that part of life when you can’t quite climb out of the darkness. I don’t think I’m fully there yet, but I take great comfort in the fact that the Spirit does come to the aid of our weakness and answers our unsaid prayers, often in the form of love from other – and I thank my God for that.