Trust

Both the Gospel and the Psalm today talk about trust. The readings that follow Easter are always so evocative for me in their description of the atmosphere of the disciples at the time – still suffering and afraid after the death of the Lord, then rejoicing in his Resurrection, but very unsure about what it all means and what is to come for them. In today’s Gospel, there is fear in the air as they are out at sea – but they are reassured when Jesus announces himself to them.

The disciples were modeling such a radical form of trust in the Lord. Here they were, living witnesses to an act so extraordinary that we can’t really begin to fully comprehend it thousands of years later. They still didn’t fully understand what was being asked of them, but they did it anyway – began to spread the Good News, and share their experience.

I think it can be a lot easier said than done to trust in the Lord. I tend to be one of those skip-ahead when reading types – I want to check the end of the chapter (or the book!), know where the story is heading before I trust the author to take me there. Living is the exact opposite of that – we have no idea where we are headed, what will happen down the various twists and turns of our lives. To trust that God is with us along the way, helping, holding, guiding and always loving, is one thing. But to then let go and live in that trust, freely enough to actually experience the way, rather than just asking God to make it ok in a bargaining-praying type way, that, for me, is really difficult. Today, I pray that I learn from the disciples’ model – to do without knowing or always understanding, to trust and feel reassured, knowing that God is there.