Life Gets in the Way

This last week kicked my ass. There are times that I handle stress well; this week wasn't one of them. I neglected most of the things that keep me healthiest—eating well, exercising and, to my sincere regret, prayer. It would be fair to say this was somewhat unavoidable. But if it's one thing that Lent taught me, it's that making time for things that matter will reap rewards—even when at the time it feels like a sacrifice or a burden.

Speaking of burdens, today's first reading describes the selection of Matthias as Judas's replacement among the apostles. Peter says that scripture deems it necessary that a new apostle be named. They pray over two men who had followed them from the beginning. Then they cast lots, and Matthias is chosen. In a very real way, the choice was a crap shoot.

I have to wonder what his reaction was. This was a time of tremendous danger for these apostles. With their lives at risk, he steps to the fore of this dangerous ministry and takes the slot previously held by Jesus' betrayer. Despite what must have been sincere devotion to Jesus and the cause, I'm not sure this would have been an overwhelmingly appealing prospect.

Some people, though, know how to handle such challenges. Out of brokenness and doubt, they rise to meet the demands placed on them, offering wisdom, grace, courage and healing to those sorely in need. I imagine that Matthias must have been one such person. His stepping forward must have been a source of comfort and strength to the other apostles and to all their followers, who would have needed to feel that their cause was growing, not dying.

I pray for the courage and grace to rise out of my own brokenness and doubt and provide comfort and strength to those in my life who most need it. And I pray that I'll remember that continuing on this journey provides me with comfort and strength when I most need it.